Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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