I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
