I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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