He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize