covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
