You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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