So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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