what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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