Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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