Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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