He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize