dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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