I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize