Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
