dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
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Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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