omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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