kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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