We're like a lot better than the average bears
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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