You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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