if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
