WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
