proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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