i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
