You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
