i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
