yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
