you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
