well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
