is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
