Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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