At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
