Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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