$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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