ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
