We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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