Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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