You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
