i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
