Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
