I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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