quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."