ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
