we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?