They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
