At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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