You made me cry and you don't even care
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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