We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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