In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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