Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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