I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.