Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit