that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Can I color on your dick again?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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