Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious