The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
