I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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