I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
