i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have tasted many bathrooms
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
