I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
