Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
