remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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