Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
