Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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